How To Turn Your Boyfriend Into A Vampire

Did I make my boyfriend a vampire? ? 3

Well I have a new boyfriend * yes * and we've been dating for over a month: p

After all, we have the Twilight Marathon (I love Twilight) and one of my dreams is a vampire boyfriend!

I've seen myself eat my own blood since the Twilight Book came out, now I consider myself a vampire, I usually save the blood I get every month (I usually keep it in the freezer) Keep, etc.) etc. etc.

I decided that what I really needed to do was learn how to do it right. So when she comes I boil my blood in her food, I try to make blood too but it only works when she bleeds a lot (it takes a lot of blood) So I usually put some blood on me or soak some kind of spaghetti. Etc. etc. You do not know: P

I've been doing this for 34 weeks, which means I can be a vampire now?

1. Vampires, defined as humanoids that use blood or energy to survive, do not exist. Cut and paste the time because writing it indefinitely and "recycling" instead of rewriting my answer is a lot of work.

2. Humans were not created to use blood for food. There are not enough proteins, carbohydrates, and proteins in the blood to make complex organisms, such as sepsis, or theoretically mutated. When a person swallows food, it is chewed into a cake and then processed in the stomach with digestive juices called chyme. It then travels through the pylorus to the duodenum, which is part of the small intestine, where it combines with salts and secretions from the pancreas and liver, which then molecules it molecularly. Swallowed nutrients pass through the intestinal wall and enter the bloodstream, where they are transferred to each cell or stored for later use. The indigestible mass continues through the intestines and turns to its black sister on the left.

3. A person who is physically unable to process their food to eat cannot even process blood. It's the same process. However, the blood eaten does not go directly into the veins. The digestive system will break it down chemically.

4. In theory, blood would have to be swallowed at least once a day to provide these nutrients and would require a full supply of blood, which is impossible because the stomach is so large and so small that Can't hold fluid. Raise your fist: Under normal circumstances, your stomach won't be that big. Also, such an ant will be difficult to pass through the intestines because it has no fibrous volume, it causes intestinal narrowing due to the large amount of iron and the displacement due to the "real" ingredients the vampire has. Causes . Finally had to go. If there is bleeding from the upper GI, it will come out sticky, sticky and smelly, like a stool.

5. Even if a vampire eats once a week and the prey becomes a vampire, it will grow rapidly with 4 reps per month. First iteration: 1 fact 1, total 2. Second iteration: 2 is 2, total 4. Third iteration: 4 is 4, total 8. Fourth iteration: 8 is 8, total is 16. 16 vampires after 1 month, 256 vampires at the end of the second month, 65,536 at the end of the third month, 65,536 at the end of the fourth month, 1,048,476 at the end of the fifth month, and 33,572,832 vampires at the end of the sixth month. Calm down, vampires are a mathematical impossibility.

6. People who claim to be vampires are themselves victims of deception. They are human beings like you or me, no matter what they say. Note that there is absolutely no scientific or medical evidence that these people benefit from swallowing blood, and even worse so-called "psychological" vampires because they are not supported by strong evidence of deception. Can go

7. There is no such thing as a "vampire" gene. Humans are not born vampires. When a woman arrives at the hospital for a prenatal checkup, a number of tests are performed while the mother and baby are in the hospital, including genetic diseases that can cause defects and defects in the knee cap. If such a gene existed, with today's technology in today's world it would be discovered that we have completely sequenced the human genome. You should also follow Mendel's rules of dominant / macro-genetic theory. And many "vampires" are so unlikely to be noticed by the medical / scientific community that they are almost non-existent. The idea that "a global community of vampires" is participating in controlled reproduction in order to maintain a "pure lineage" is a total delusion.

Lucy, I'm not your friend because if I ... oh man, now you see what a real vampire is. I can't wait! Does any girl in the world give blood to her boyfriend and people call me crazy?

Seriously, Mom, don't do that. You will never become a vampire!

Mixing blood can make your friend very sick, especially if you are not of the same blood group. This is very dangerous. You also need to understand that vampires are not real (sorry to empty your bladder), but if you were and they were you, would you like them to give you blood? Twilight Users don't want that result either. I mean, blood is not pure! It came from there. Sorry, this is too serious and can cause serious problems. His friend.

I know this is a joke, but if you don't, you're sick. I never thought I would find an excuse for a man to hit a woman, but I see he knows it and beats you hard. you deserve. For a one-month-old friend, eating his own blood is absolutely unpleasant and unpleasant. He may be really sick (and you may be), but you are definitely not taking care of yourself.

Even in the vampire subculture, they do not eat blood or force anyone to eat it. If you continue your delusion, you will end up alone. Your family may despise you and Audi will blame them for it. Or at least you are being cared for in a nursing home. If you carry poorly written books and movies with you, it is a sign that you are a danger to everyone around you. A piece of dirt that must be forcibly disinfected. Unfortunately, that's a good argument for eucs. Do good to everyone and go to a place where you are far away and become pious.

I thought he was a troll and a joke, but he was good at electrotherapy. You need it

Hm, idk if you know, but there is a thing called cosplay (not including blood) where you can have a half dinosaur lawyer as your friend (one in disguise) and whatever imaginary two good people can have Yes we can. Poisoning a friend (new or old) with ice cream blood is terrible. Like a tincture in your mouth or somewhere else. I saw you going to Amazon and bought a vampire casplay. Man will probably recover without the need to eat poison. If you really were a vampire, you wouldn't. Their ideas and methods are always wrong and will remain so.

M Story, buy cosplay costumes for real money. So do all the crazy things your heart desires to do with a willing partner.

How To Turn Your Boyfriend Into A Vampire

No, your boyfriend isn't a vampire either, a sick twisted and hateful young man, I think you're still young because anyone over 25 would be half an inch smarter. Do you have everything your friends don't want to be a vampire and what if your disease plan works? Have you ever thought that I will regret not you selfish ■■■■■ !!!
Unfortunately not. You need vampire blood. The only way to become a vampire is to drink the blood of a vampire and the vampire will drink his blood. So here it is And you're not a vampire either, sorry. Well, as long as you don't mean just blood or good food in your case, then I think you can be a vampire.
Okay madam, I really think this question is just a joke because it's kind of weird. If this is true then I am sorry for the man you did to her. You can't put your blood on their food! If he finds out what you are doing, he is more likely to sue you. And all because you wanted me to be a vampire. Look, friend, no matter how many times you eat your dirty blood, you will never become a vampire. Did you hear You are not a vampire. It will never be a vampire. No vampires. . End of conversation They do not exist. Twilight is a fictional book written by an author who writes fictional stories. If this is a real baby, do you need help? See a psychologist as soon as possible.
First, Twilight is a cop.
Vampires are still alive, the bodies here will try to steal your soul and make you one of them ...
Second ... go to a psychiatric hospital, please, because mixing blood (blood, no less, it's basically rotten eggs ... h) is a sign of being mentally ill. As the saying goes, vampires are bad ... and since they don't usually have free will (except for the main vampire who naturally turns into a vampire and uses death as s), they Suddenly they do well and go with it. . Even vampires (do not laugh) sometimes disappear because they do not need them in their postage (postage ... yes)
To become a vampire, one of the following events is required (according to the legend):
If an animal jumps on a corpse, it can turn into a vampire.
When a man or a man and the Church of ■■■■ become vampires.
Others bury the body upside down or with something like a sickle or a toothpick.
Ljes is out of the building for another day to fight the hatred of vampires and criminals associated with Edward Colin.
Hmmm ... did you read the myths because I'm not a vampire just because you drink blood? 2 Vampires are not like the Twilight version because they are not completely less emotional (but the active vampire has a better chance) They do not shine 3 You cannot be a vampire (I don't think so) You are by chance Born (very weak) or your parents are one and no, you can't be half human, half vampire or if you are a vampire and not a vampire, you can be human, but your child can be one. The only way to be vampire 4 is to wake up like this (many vampires don't know them) or drink vampire's blood (but you will be theirs forever and you will not want to)
Oh my god you are the scariest You do not know what it is. You can give it a disease! Oh my fool you may have heard it a thousand times, but I will say this. Vampires do not exist. You are crazy and you can be called a psychological path. No, he will not be a vampire, but he will show you any disease because you are crazy. I'm describing it as a joke.

How To Turn Your Boyfriend Into A Vampire